Barely Holding On
by kaycee rose
Summary: Stevie managed to take all the abuse from Raven for years but what happens when he hits the end of his ropes. SLASH Raven/Stevie Richards


Title: Barely Holding On

Pairing: Raven/Stevie (Early ECW), implied Raven/Beulah and Raven/Sandman

Rating: T

Summary: Stevie managed to take all the abuse from Raven for years but what happens when he hits the end of his ropes.

Disclaimer: I don`t own anyone in this (although I wished I owned Raven and Stevie)

Why does Raven hate me so much? All the things I do for him he still chooses to use and abuse me. Nothing I ever do is good enough, when I helped him beat Tommy last week he just punched me in the face and told me to grow a pair. Days like those make me feel worthless and stupid. Everywhere I go I get ridiculed because I'm always getting my ass beat by him and still stay by his side like a lovesick little puppy. I remember about a month ago Dreamer asked me why I stayed with Raven I simply told him because he`s not always abusive and I know deep down inside he loves me. I remember the Raven that used to take me to the Carnival and watch chick flicks I knew he hated with me those were the good day.

"_Aww come on Stevie please don`t make me watch this" Raven said while glaring at the Blue Lagoon case on the ground. Stevie straddled Raven`s lap and kissed his pouting powder pink lips "Please Raven it`s not that bad it`s romantic. I promise if you`re a good boy I'll repay you afterwards. " he said while grinding his hips against Raven`s earning a moan from the older man. Raven flipped them over so he was on top and smirked at Stevie "You`re such a tease Stevie...but I'll accept that offer and we`re going hardcore all. Night. Long. When it`s over." Stevie smiled sliding out from under Raven and pressing play on the DVD player. A smile danced it`s way onto Stevie`s face as he felt a pair of strong arms slide around his waist and pulled him into a loving embrace._

Raven used to be so love but then Beulah started coming around and his attention started going to her. It`s like I didn`t exist, like we never shared a bed, or never made love she tore us apart. She`s part of the reason why I`m sitting in this fucking hotel room alone slicing my wrists with Raven`s old switchblade he left behind when went to Sandman`s room. "I`ll be back in an hour Richards don`t go any fucking where got it" Yeah I got it even though you said that five fucking hours ago Rave. You said you loved me and would never hurt me but that was a load of bullshit just like when you swore to me that nothing was going on between you and Sandman. It was all bullshit I saw you two with my own eyes, how could you cheat on me with someone you despise more than fucking Dreamer?

_Stevie walked into the house he and Raven shared for two year tired and anxious to see his lover after a long day of shopping for an anniversary present for him. A loud moan came from upstairs alerting Stevie instantly causing him to drop his bags and quietly ran up the stairs. He cracked open the door and peeked in immediately seeing The Sandman on top of Raven nipping at his neck and Raven`s head tilted back in pleasure. "You lied" was all Stevie shouted before racing down stairs down into the kitchen grabbing the sharpest knife he saw and turning around just in time to see Raven standing there in front of him. "Stevie please baby put down the knife it was nothing he was just keeping me company while you were out" Raven pleaded as Stevie pointed the knife at his throat. Stevie`s eyes no longer showed a sweet innocent man they showed a fed up enraged psychotic bitch ready to kill anyone. "Pick another lie Raven I've had enough of your fucking games. You say you love and then you cheat on me more than once with some fat drunken slob. You put me through hell and accuse me of cheated all the fucking time when you`re the one whose been cheating all along .You must be stupid if you think I'm going to sit here and play dumb like I didn`t see that. " Stevie yelled while stabbing the knife into Raven`s side causing the older man to fall to his knee`s and let out a agonizing cry. Just as Stevie pulled his arm back to stab him again Tommy Dreamer ran in and grabbed his arm while Rob Van Dam pulled Raven away and tried to stop the bleeding. Tommy panicked and yanked the knife out of Stevie`s hand "Stevie calm down we have to get you out here now before the cops come" Tommy said while pulling Stevie out of the house and into his car. "It doesn`t matter to me if I go to jail Tommy. I finally made Raven realize that I'm not as weak as he thinks" Stevie said softly smiling as Tommy drove off as fast as he could._

Raven didn`t talk or even look at me after the incident he just walked by me like wasn`t there. My stupidest mistake was running back to him and letting him walk all over me like he did before. I let him believe that he was in charge and let him beat me until I coughed up blood, then pretended like I believed he still loved me just so I could just so I wouldn`t have to be all alone. I guess that brings me to where I am alone and barely holding on. As I started coughing up blood I heard the door open and footsteps head toward the bedroom where I sat slumped in the corner in Raven`s favorite t- shirt. "Oh my God Stevie what`d you do to yourself" I heard Raven yell as he ripped off his shirt and pressed it against all the deep cuts on my arm. I can faintly hear him frantically talking on the phone to a 911 operator if only he knew that it` s just a little too late for that. As he hung up the phone he pulled me into his arms and softly whispered in my ear "Stevie hang on baby help is on the way. Please don`t die on me I love you to death I'm sorry for all the shit I've done to you in the past just pull through this and I'll show you that I mean it". I coughed up more blood and smiled up at Raven weakly before "I forgive you and I love you too but Raven you can`t save me…" I paused to gasp for more air. "….Because I'm barely holding on" I whispered softly taking my last breath and drifting off into eternal sleep in the arms of my Raven.


End file.
